Disintegration
by sarcasmcocktail
Summary: Post A House is Not a Home; Lorelai centric with a Rory undertone. LL and RL. Lorelai's world is falling apart... Please R and R : PROBABLY NOT GOING TO FINISH THIS ONE
1. Engagement

**AN:** That cliffhanger was sooo much worse than last years'! I want Season 6 to start immediately, but since it won't, I will resort to fan fiction. I've been out of the fic world for a while now so I have a lot of reading to catch up on and I have 3 in progress fics one of which I think I'm going to put on hold. Anyway, here's my next story. Please read and review.

**Disclaimer:** Amy owns 'em

**Spoilers:** everything up to 5.22 A House is Not a Home

**Ships: **Rory/Logan, Luke/Lorelai

**Summary:** Lorelai-centric with a Rory subplot starting in the diner after Lorelai proposed.

Luke stared at Lorelai not knowing whether or not to take her seriously. He thought about the years it took for him to finally have Lorelai as his own; the boyfriends that she went through and his own marriage to Nicole. He remembered Paul, that young kid Lorelai dated when he thought that Lorelai would date anyone but him. Then Luke thought about the opening of the Inn, the night that he finally was able to confess the feelings he had for years. Now she was sitting in front of him in a mind state that he'd seen before, but never like this. Lorelai was falling apart and she just asked him to marry her.

Lorelai looked back at Luke; she could tell that he was dumbfounded by what she just asked him. Throughout the past 9 years they had been friends and he was always the person that Lorelai went to. After losing Rory, Luke was all she had. Sookie and Jackson had two kids to worry about and Lorelai lost the one that she had. Luke was the wall for her to lean against through everything. Every word that he said about kidnapping Rory and forcing her to go to Yale…every word said that he cared about her and loved her so unconditionally that he would do anything for her. Luke already was more of a father to Rory than Christopher ever was…he was everything she needed.

"Are you going to answer?" she finally broke the silence.

"yes."

"Yes, you're going to answer?"

"Yes, I'll marry you."

Lorelai slowly stood up and Luke pulled her closer, for the first time in a few days she felt completely content. She looked straight into Luke's eyes as he pulled her even closer and they shared a slow, passionate kiss. Lorelai pulled away and asked, "since I asked, do I still get the ring?"

Luke smiled, he was happy to see that Lorelai still had her sense of humor even when her world was disintegrating. He simply shook his head in agreement and made a mental note to look for a ring…then another one to talk to Taylor again about the Twickham house – that would be the perfect surprise. He looked again over at Lorelai who had tears falling from her eyes. There was nothing he could do to get Rory back in Yale even though he said that he had all of the answers.

Lorelai knew that Luke had none of the answers, but he made everything sound so easy. He made her feel like she could get her baby back – that Rory was still her baby. Lorelai hugged Luke because his embrace was the only thing that made her forget everything and she listened as he whispered "I love you" in her ear. She tried to respond, but words wouldn't form through the tears; Luke held her tighter in hopes of stopping the tears.

Luke escorted his fiancé up the stairs and she crawled into the bed and cried. Luke held Lorelai until she fell asleep then watched her finally at peace. He didn't know what he was going to do, but there had to be some way to help her; there had to be something he could do. He fell asleep in the midst of his thoughts.

Lorelai dreamed about life being so much better. She thought about the Inn and how she was going to continue getting free stuff until she had to turn down the offer to see the Dragonfly. Then she saw Rory as a little girl again; Rory was perfect until the mistake with Dean. They'd never fought like this before; everything was always so easily resolved.

Rory was in her new house…her grandparents' pool house. It was the first time she was on her own, no Paris annoying her all the time and no Lorelai. She had her own little place and she didn't have to do anything for herself…there were maids for that. The maids were going to take some getting used to. It was all going to take some getting used to. Her thoughts were interrupted by a phone call.

"Hey, you."

"Hey, Ace, how are you?"

"I'm alright," she responded.

"You don't sound it – what's going on?"

"I moved into my grandparents' pool house."

"So you have your own place now?" Logan asked suggestively.

"I guess you could say that," Rory flirted back.

The two continued to talk a little and Rory started to miss Lorelai. She knew that things weren't going to be the same anymore. She didn't know when she was even going to get to see the mother that had been her best friend throughout her life.

The next morning, Lorelai woke up and Luke was already downstairs in the diner. She needed to go home and shower and get things done before heading to work at 2; Michel was taking care of everything until then. Lorelai realized that she was going to have to tell her parents…and Rory about the engagement. Her parents weren't going to be very happy, but at that point, Lorelai didn't care. They stabbed her in the back, after not being there throughout the majority of her life, she thought that for once she saw eye to eye with them. She didn't know what happened that caused them to change their minds and take Rory's side. There was no ring yet, Emily would have something to say about that. She would probably just use it as something else against Luke, but Lorelai didn't care anymore.

She went to work and immediately and went to the kitchen to tell Sookie forgetting that Sookie wouldn't be there. Lorelai took her cell phone out of her pocket and called her best friend…she only wanted to tell her the good news, the bad news would wait.

"I'm engaged."

"Congratulations!" Sookie yelled, "and now that the baby's born, I can drink with you to celebrate."

Lorelai laughed and told Sookie that she had to get back to work and that she would talk to her again soon. The day dragged on and Lorelai tried her hardest to keep a smile for all of the patrons. Even Michel commented on Lorelai being down and offered to help her, it was the kindest that the French man had been. No one in Stars Hollow could find out where Rory was, word traveled too fast. Lorelai didn't want anyone to feel bad for her – she wanted to live her own life. She didn't want the engagement low key, but after everything that happened she was going to wait a day before telling Ms. Patty and having the entire town find out.

That night Lorelai got in the jeep and drove the familiar route to the house she grew up in. When she'd left the night before she thought it would be a long time until she came back again. She knocked quietly at the door and almost immediately the shaken young woman answered and took her coat.

"Mr. and Mrs. Gilmore are in Mr. Gilmore's office, or would you like to see Ms. Gilmore?"

"I'll go on my own, Davida, thank you."

The young woman quickly walked away and got back to work on whatever she was doing. Lorelai walked slowly towards her father's study – the same room she'd locked herself in a week earlier when Emily read that magazine article. This was worse than that article – it was going to be harder to get out. But Lorelai knew that Luke was the only thing in her life that was keeping her happy. Before knocking on the door, Lorelai thought about who she wanted to tell first – her parents or Rory? She decided on her parents then maybe Rory could feel even a portion of the pain that Lorelai felt.

_Knock…knock_

Richard stood up and opened the door in shock that his daughter was standing there. She walked in slowly and stood in front of both of her parents who were looking at her as though she was a stranger. Lorelai could tell what both of them were thinking, but neither would say – they wanted to know why she was there.

"I know you weren't expecting me, but I had to come tell you now. As of last night Luke and I are engaged to be married. I don't want to hear what you have to say about Luke, I just want you to know. You don't have to be happy for me, but I am happy about this and plan to live my life how I wish to."

"If you wish to throw it away on that diner owner, then go ahead, don't come to up for money when he can't support you," Emily responded coldly.

"When Max and I were engaged you got upset that I didn't tell you, this time I wanted you to be the first to know. I'm sorry I've disappointed you however many times, I lost count, I just wish you could be happy for me."

"We are happy for you, Lorelai," Richard started, "but we know that you could do so much better. If you had gone to college…"

"I am doing better than people who do go to college. What does it matter anyway? I'm the screw up in the family, we all know that. We knew that the second I got pregnant."

"Not now, Lorelai," Emily said.

"What, mom? My life is falling apart and I found one thing that's keeping me whole and it's something you don't approve of. I am happy with Luke, he loves me, Mom, don't you understand that?"

"How is your life falling apart? Is this our fault again because everything's our fault."

"My daughter is living in the pool house because I wanted her to have something better than the life I led instead she's going to follow in my footsteps. She's not going to get pregnant instead she's going to drop out of school and steal yachts."

"She's a confused young girl."

"So was I, mom, and you were never there for me. Christopher was my back bone; he made me feel loved more than you ever did. That's where Rory came from – she was born out of the only love I ever felt. But then I realized Christopher wasn't everything I wanted – I was never as happy with him as I am with Luke. Whether or not you choose to come to my wedding is up to you, I have to go."

"Rory is going to go back to school when she's ready."

"You just like that she's everything that I never was – up until recently she's been the perfect child, not a single mistake. Unlike me, she goes to you…she's your perfect little granddaughter who can do no wrong and her boyfriend's perfect too no matter what he's done."

"You just hate that she's falling into the world that you ran away from."

"Yes, mom, that's exactly it," Lorelai said not meaning a single word.

She couldn't take anymore of this arguing, so Lorelai grabbed her coat and walked to the back door of the house. She took a step out and looked into the pool house where she saw that familiar blonde boy with her daughter. The two were laughing, perhaps drunk; Lorelai didn't want to intrude so she was going to wait to tell Rory about the engagement.

The trip back to Stars Hollow was a long one; Lorelai had to fight the tears that would blur her vision while driving. She drove past her own house when she got to Stars Hollow and went straight to the diner. Luke could tell that she just came from her parents' and without a word he poured her a cup of coffee. They sat in complete silence until Lorelai said that she wanted to go home and turned Luke down when he offered to join her. Lorelai wanted to be alone.

First thing the next morning, the phone rang. Lorelai answered and heard a familiar voice on the other end.

"Why didn't you tell me when you told grandma and grandpa?" the pain was evident in the girl's voice.


	2. Broken

**AN:** Wow, thank you for those reviews. I hope this story keeps you happy… Sorry for the delay, I had computer issues.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You were with Logan."

"So? I'm your daughter and you left it to grandma and grandpa to tell me that you were engaged. I thought I was your best friend?"

"You're my daughter," Lorelai responded coldly.

Rory sat in the pool house finally realizing how much she hurt her mother. She was supposed to have another date with Logan that night, but contemplated going back to Stars Hollow to make things right with Lorelai. What was right? There was nothing she could do that would change what happened; she wasn't going back to Yale, she didn't know what she wanted to do with her life. Rory was lost and about to break down.

"Congratulations. Goodbye, Mom, I love you," Rory whispered into the phone.

"Bye Rory."

That was the end of the conversation. Rory fell onto the couch and the tears started to flow. She had never in her life felt this empty or lost. Last time she'd cried that much was that night when Lindsey answered the phone. Maybe this was even more than that; Rory couldn't do anything but cry. The only thing keeping her even slightly optimistic was seeing Logan in just a few hours.

Lorelai hung up the phone and grabbed a few things then left the house towards the diner. Luke had been her backbone so many times before; she knew he'd be able to help her. She knew he'd be able to make her calm down and for a few minutes forget how great the pain is. Lorelai lost her daughter…to her parents. She could only hope that Rory would one day realize why Lorelai ran away all those years ago.

She walked into the diner and Luke was running all over the place.

"Luke, what's going on?"

"Lane's done working here – she is going on tour with that band of hers and now I have to take care of this by myself."

"So is this a bad time?"

"Take a seat at the counter; I'll be there in a minute."

With a small kiss, Lorelai poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down at the counter waiting for Luke. When she sat down it finally clicked what Luke had said – Lane and the band were on tour? She wanted to know more about it; she wondered if Rory knew anything about it – maybe Lane had said something to her.

The diner slowed down and Luke finally took the time to look at Lorelai. He could see in her eyes that she was falling apart. He figured she told her parents, it was something that needed to be done. Lorelai looked up at Luke and wanted to thank him for always being there to care about her and take care of her. She was the only thing holding her pieces together.

"Did you tell your parents and Rory?"

"My parents told Rory; Logan was over and I didn't want to bother her."

Just as Luke was walking over to give his fiancé a hug, Emily walked into the diner. He didn't want Lorelai to turn around; Emily would just see the tears forming. It seemed that since Luke and Lorelai started dating, Emily was almost a regular at Luke's.

"Lorelai, can I speak with you?"

"Anything you can say to me, you can say in front of my fiancé."

"No, it's okay, I'll let you be alone with your mother."

"So, where's the ring?"

"What ring?"

"You said you're engaged, there must be a ring. Or did he not give you a ring when he asked you?"

"I asked him, mom, and no, there is no ring."

"You asked him?" Emily said in disgust.

"Yes, mom…I already told you, my life is falling apart and I don't want to lose the one thing that's stable. I can't lose the one person that's cared about me since I came to Stars Hollow…maybe even my entire life."

"Your father and I have always cared for you and your well being."

"Then why can't you be happy for me?"

"Because I know you can do better than this life. You could live the life you were brought up in."

"I can live in misery? Get out, mom. Don't insult the life I've made for myself, I did this myself – it wasn't your doing or Dad's. This is all me and I'm happy."

"Fine, Lorelai."

Lorelai turned around to face the counter and saw a compassionate look on Luke's face. She didn't want to see Emily walk away; she didn't want Emily to see her cry. _You can do better…_that was what Emily always said to her. Lorelai didn't want to do what Emily saw as better, she wanted to live the life that she had created. The people of Stars Hollow saw Lorelai as one of the strongest women they knew; she built her own success – she had absolutely nothing and worked as a maid, now she owns her own inn. There was nothing she wanted more in her life career and money wise…but she did want her own daughter. Lorelai looked up again to see that Luke had walked away, but as always – she knew that he would be back.

"Taylor," Luke yelled to the man he usually avoided.

"Can I help you, Luke?"

"I want to buy the Twickam house again."

"Of course, Luke, the papers are already drawn up. Are we still keeping this our little secret?"

"Yes."

That was the end of the conversation; Luke went back inside to Lorelai. He wanted nothing other than to make her happy and he thought that the house would. It was somewhere other than where she'd brought up Rory – not the place where her life fell apart. Lorelai was sitting there with tears in her eyes; he knew her mother's words got to her and he also knew that there was nothing he could do about it.

"I have to get to the Inn, I'll see you tonight?"

"Of course," Luke responded with a kiss before watching Lorelai walk away.

She walked outside to where the jeep was parked then drove across town to the Inn. Sookie wasn't going to be back to work for a while, but she finally calmed down about the kitchen staff…at least that's what Lorelai thought. When she arrived at the Inn, she saw the Michel had the front staff completely under control – but she heard yelling from the kitchen. She walked in to find Sookie telling the staff that nothing was being done right.

"Sookie, what are you doing here?"

"I couldn't bear to be away from my kitchen. I need to make sure that everything's perfect."

"What about the baby?"

"Jackson's okay on his own."

"I didn't mean that baby."

"I know," Sookie laughed, "all three babies are home together and fine. I haven't been here long." Sookie looked at her friend standing in front of her, "what's wrong with you?"

"I'm engaged and before you say anything – I asked him."

"You don't look very happy about that."

"That's the only thing I'm happy about…"

Lorelai went on to tell Sookie about everything from having to get Rory out of jail to Rory dropping out of Yale and moving in with Emily and Richard. There was no way to tell the story without the tears racing from her eyes. Sookie didn't know what to do about her best friend falling apart in front of her. All she knew was that Luke was going to stop Lorelai from completely disintegrating.

After a little while, Lorelai convinced Sookie that the kitchen staff was doing fine and that she should head home to the babies. After Sookie left, Lorelai sat down in the lobby area of the Inn and watched the world go on around her. She saw how successful the Inn was and convinced herself that her life had meaning…even without Rory. Her daughter was everything to her, but now she was gone – she had run away to the world Lorelai escaped. It wasn't the first time Rory had chosen that house as a place to run away to, but it was the first time it was permanent. Lorelai didn't see Rory coming home any time soon; she could only hope Yale was coming back in the future.

That same afternoon, Richard invited a friend over to try to lift Rory's spirits. He brought this friend to the pool house but couldn't find Rory. Richard hoped that his friend would bring back Rory's love for journalism.

He knocked on the door of the pool house once more and this time Rory answered. She must not have heard him the first time; she opened the door and let the two men in. The three of them walked towards the couch before Richard introduced his friend.

"Rory, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine…Bob Woodward."

"Hello…Bob Woodward as in…"

Mr. Woodward shook his head. Rory couldn't believe that she was in the presence of the man who helped uncover the Watergate Scandal 30 some odd years earlier. She knew that he was a Yale alumnus, but didn't realize that her grandfather would know him.

"Bob and I went to Yale together and I thought he would be the perfect person to talk to you."

"But I don't want to be a journalist anymore."

"Why not, Rory," Bob asked, "journalism is an amazing field."

"You're one of the greatest journalists alive; you wouldn't understand what it's like to be told you're incompetent."

"From the way your grandfather talks about you, I highly doubt you're incompetent. People shot me down all the time, but I never gave up – I never let them get me down and now I'm in the history books."

Rory talked to Bob for a little while and he told her his story about the scandal and how it differed from Robert Redford's in _All the President's Men._ Rory still was unsure of herself when he left, but she considered giving writing another try. He told her to write a piece and he would look at it and give her constructive criticism. She was never going to go anywhere if she quit.

After work that night, Lorelai went to the diner for dinner. After she ate, Luke had some closing up to do and asked her to wait upstairs. Almost an hour later, he joined her upstairs and told her that he had a surprise for her. He pulled a small black, velvet case out of his pocket. Lorelai opened it to find an amazing diamond ring – it was modest yet absolutely beautiful.

"Did you buy this because of what my mother said? Because she said you weren't good enough, did you go out and buy a ring for me?"

"Not at all, Lorelai, I bought it because I love you."

"I proposed to you, not the other way around."

"I know, but that would look ridiculous on my finger."

Lorelai stifled a laugh and took the ring. She wasn't sure what to believe; maybe Luke bought it on his own, or maybe it was because of what Emily had said earlier.

"When did you have time to buy this?"

"I took a break this morning before you came in."

"So you had it when my mother went on her little rampage earlier?"

"Yes, I didn't think it was right to give it to you then."

Lorelai smiled and gave Luke a hug and a simple kiss which slowly grew more passionately. They moved towards Luke's bed and both of them gradually lost their clothing. Luke made love to Lorelai that night making her forget everything else. All she could feel was that she was in love.

Logan had arrived not long after Richard and Bob left and found Rory again crying on the couch. He held her in his arms and comforted her not prying to what the problem was. He could tell that it was more than the night before – that something had happened, but he didn't want to ask.

The boyfriend thing was still very new to Logan so he was going on intuition. His told him that he wanted to hold Rory for the rest of his life. She told him that she was tired and the two went to her bedroom. Logan kissed her softly and let her lie in his arms until she fell asleep. He then kissed her forehead and fell asleep right next to her.

In the morning, Emily came to see if Rory wanted to join her and Richard for breakfast in the main house. Rory wasn't answering the door, so Emily figured she was still sleeping. A few hours later, she went out to the back again to check on Rory and saw Rory and Logan kissing in the living room. It was obvious that the two had just recently woken up and Emily was not at all happy with what she saw. She thought that Rory was going to repeat Lorelai's mistake.


	3. Falling Apart

**AN:** fanfic's been down otherwise I would've written this sooner…enjoy. Please remember, reviews are like oxygen to fics…

Emily walked over to the pool house and again knocked on the door. Rory turned away from Logan and saw her grandmother standing there with a disappointed looking on her face. She stood up and walked over to the door.

"Good morning, Rory," she said very unattached.

"Good morning, Grandma."

"Hello, Emily," Logan said from the couch.

"Logan." She then turned to Rory and asked, "Has he been here all night?"

Rory didn't know how to answer that, but her silence gave it away. Emily's disappointed look turned to anger and Logan knew that was his cue to leave.

"I think I should be going. Bye Rory. Goodbye, Emily."

"Bye," Rory said giving Logan a gentle kiss.

"Call me later," he whispered in her ear.

As soon as Logan was gone, Emily and Rory walked into the pool house. Emily was livid with the fact that Logan spent the night while Rory was living on her property.

"You're going to repeat your mother's mistake."

"No, I'm not, grandma. I was upset and as my boyfriend, Logan came over here. He stayed with me last night; it's not a big deal."

"It is a big deal, Rory. Look, if you're going to be living here then we're going to have to set some rules."

"Rules? Grandma, I'm 20 years old."

"I don't care, Rory. You're living here and these are the rules. Logan or any boys for that matter must be gone by midnight – no all nighters. You are going to have a curfew at 1am and if you're going to be later than that you are to give your grandfather or me a call and let us know preferably before 11."

"That's unfair. You know that I'm responsible; I don't need these rules. I'm not going to get pregnant."

"Your grandfather and I thought bringing Bob over here was going to help you shape up. This isn't shaping up."

"I came here to think, to take a break. Maybe I was wrong – maybe mom was right to run away from here all those years ago."

Rory started to cry again and Emily left in a huff. Emily went back into the main house and began thinking about what Rory said. She didn't think that her rules were that bad; in fact she found them to be quite fair. Seeing a boy in her granddaughter's house and noticing that he obviously spent the night wasn't very "kosher" in Emily Gilmore's book. She knew that Rory needed time, but she thought that she and Richard were doing everything they could to make it better.

Rory didn't know what to do anymore. She thought in the back of her mind that there had to be a reason her grandfather brought one of the greatest journalists in the country to her. Her grandparents had seemed to agree that Rory needed time to think; she never thought they would try to manipulate her. Everything that Lorelai had always said about that house being a prison…it was all right. But Rory couldn't give in, not after all the fighting between her and Lorelai recently. She was way to proud to give in…wasn't she?

Lorelai went over to the diner before work that morning for coffee as she usually did. Luke seemed to have something on his mind when he didn't try to slip her tea or make a comment about how coffee was bad for her.

"What's wrong, Luke? This is where you're supposed to tell me that coffee stunts my growth and then I'd respond that's why I'm drinking it not you."

Luke smiled and Lorelai's innuendo, but continued to look around. Lorelai then noticed that Luke was looking over the wall into Taylor's Ice Cream Shoppe.

"You and Taylor are still doing that getting along thing? Is everything in this town turning upside down?"

Lorelai saw Taylor give Luke a big smile and a thumbs up and just before she was about to make a comment about it, Luke finally spoke.

"I bought the Twickam house."

"You what?"

"I bought it…for us."

Lorelai smiled, she was excited thinking about her new life with Luke and how everything was going to be different. She didn't have much time before she had to be in work, so with a kiss she left the diner. It was a beautiful day in May so Lorelai decided to walk across town the 15 minutes to the Dragonfly. On the walk she was doing a lot of thinking about the house and about her house.

Rory grew up in that house; the house was the first thing Lorelai bought on her own. Sure, she was still paying it off – but that was her house. That was the house that showed Lorelai did something with the life that everyone thought she threw away. Besides all the good memories; the bad memories would leave also. She wouldn't live in the house where Rory slept with a married man or the house that held so many fights between mother and daughter. Lorelai was stuck – she knew that change was necessary, but was she ready?

Lorelai got home from work that day and found that the house was unlocked. Usually that meant she forgot to lock it, but this time it was something different. She heard a sobbing sound coming from the living room. There was Rory sitting on the couch in the same position (ice cream and all) from the night she first wallowed over Dean. Lorelai didn't know what to say or do except go and sit down with Rory.

"I'm sorry, mom. I'm sorry about everything," she cried.

"What happened?"

"You were right. All this time you warned me about grandma, you were right."

"What did she do?"

"Logan spent the night last night…she yelled at me for it – she told me that I have a curfew and that Logan can never stay over."

"You should have known…"

"She thinks I'll get pregnant; she doesn't think I'm responsible. And yesterday grandpa brought over a friend because they want to manipulate me. They won't let me think for myself – it's a prison over there,"

"That's why I left, sweetie."

"I know and I'm sorry, mom. I want to come home."

"About that…"

Rory looked at her mother puzzled and Lorelai told her about the Twickam house. Rory looked around the house and thought about all the memories good and bad. She couldn't imagine living with Lorelai anywhere else – this was their house. Then she remembered that she was the one who left and everything was hitting her. Everything in Rory's life was a mess…she felt herself disintegrating and broke down. She was crying so hard that she couldn't even speak.

Lorelai held her daughter and realized how hard everything was. Lorelai never had a choice about college; she had a baby to take care of before graduating high school. She also thought about how important it was for her to go her own direction in life and the decisions Rory was being faced with. She needed to be supportive to whatever Rory wanted to do –

Logan called Rory's cell phone, but there was no answer. He tried the pool house and again no answer. After Emily seeing him that morning, he knew that nothing good would come out of attempting to call Richard and Emily's house. Logan decided to check Stars Hollow; he knew Emily and thought that if she and Rory got into a fight, Rory would go home. Logan was a little afraid to see Lorelai after he'd called the house a few days earlier. Maybe it would be okay since he didn't know what his father had done before committing the felony?

He found directions to Stars Hollow and headed to the small town. It was everything he'd imagined – a small town with people in the streets. There were little shops and a diner labeled a Hardware Store…Luke's, Logan thought. He found his way to the Gilmore home and looked at it wondering how Lorelai bought the house without her parents' money.

Logan slowly got out of his SUV and headed towards the door. He saw in the window Lorelai and Rory on the couch – it looked to him like the two made up. He knocked softly and waited for an answer.

"Logan…" Lorelai said quietly.

"Hi Lorelai…look, I know you don't like me, but I came to see Rory."

"You're right, Logan, I don't like you, but Rory does. You can come in."

"Before I do – I just want to ask you if you don't like me because I'm like you? I know the story – if I were a girl, chances are I could've gotten pregnant at 16. I know that Rory isn't like that at all but she does something to me that I can't explain. I've never felt like this before."

"I don't doubt that you're like I was growing up – that scares me. Take care of my baby and don't get her into any more trouble."

"I'll try."

With that Logan entered the house to find Rory sitting on the couch; her eyes were red and puffy. He wanted nothing more than to hold her like he'd done the night before. She was everything to him and when his everything was falling apart, he couldn't be too far behind. Lorelai left the young lovers alone because she had something else to take care of. No one sent her daughter home to her crying like that – it doesn't matter what happened between the two of them only days earlier.

Lorelai walked up to the doorway that was all too familiar to her. While waiting for the maid of the moment to answer the door, she looked around at every escape route she used in her lifetime. She thought about what Logan said – he was just like her…that was a scary thought. Lorelai wanted to keep Rory away from the life that she had before Rory was born, but Logan was bringing her into it. Rory had finally seen what Lorelai went through growing up…with so many rules, there was nothing to do but break them. Maybe Logan wouldn't be so bad for Rory; sure he was trouble, but…

Before Lorelai could finish her thought, the door was answered, but not by a maid. Emily herself had answered the door and her face dropped when she saw Lorelai standing there. Emily invited her daughter in and the two walked to Richard's study where he, as usual, was working. Lorelai looked at both of her parents and asked them if they knew where Rory was.

"I thought she was out in the pool house," Richard said, he hadn't been out of the study all day.

"She came home."

"She what?" Emily responded.

"She came home because she realized why I ran away all those years ago. You're trying to suffocate her just like you did to me. Rory is responsible, she knows what she's doing and she takes precautions."

"Are you saying that you're okay with a boy staying in her room?"

"What?" Richard again confused, asked.

"Logan stayed over last night, dad. My twenty year old daughter had her boyfriend stay over for the night. She's on the pill, if they did anything, I know she was careful."

Emily and Richard looked at each other and back at their daughter.

"Lorelai, we don't want her to fall into the same things as you did."

"She got drunk here at that sausage fest party you threw a few months ago."

"She's old enough to drink responsibly."

"But not old enough to make her own decisions?"

"Well aren't we the hypocrite, Lorelai. You think she can make her own decisions when it comes to Logan, but not when it comes to Yale."

"I think she can make responsible decisions, this is just like you, mom. You're turning everything back on me. I don't know why I even came here."

Lorelai couldn't take it anymore; she turned around and walked out the door to that house again. Every time she went back after thinking she got away it just seemed to get worse.


	4. Memories

**AN:** I know I've been kinda sucking lately with this whole updating thing. I was in AZ for 2 weeks (I live in NY) then when I got back there's been so much and I got a job. So anyway, I have lots of ideas for all my stories and hope everyone continues to read and review!

-:

After leaving her parents' house, the devastated, aggravated Lorelai headed over to the diner before going back to her house. She walked in to see Luke closing up, she realized how empty the diner was since Kirk was with Lulu – he had spent so much time in Luke's until Lulu came along. Luke looked up and Lorelai looked him in the eye the way she'd done only two nights before when everything was falling apart. He asked her what was going on, there was no use hiding that Lorelai still wasn't herself.

"Rory came home."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"She finally saw why I left my parents' house. My mom saw Logan there this morning – now Logan's at the house."

"What did your mother do?"

"Started treating Rory like a child," Lorelai started crying, "I want her to be a child again, Luke. I don't like Logan. I don't trust Logan."

Lorelai then started to think about what Logan said to her, _I'm just like you_, she'd admitted he was right – what a mistake. She'd been so happy that Rory was coming home that she'd lost it for a second and admitted that. Logan was everything she was, but Lorelai only hoped that Rory would be smarter than she was. Rory couldn't make the same mistakes as Lorelai – Lorelai could only imagine the field day that Emily would have with that.

Luke could tell that there was more than that; it wasn't like Lorelai to fall apart like this. In the past few days he'd watched the woman he loves fall into almost nothing – she was disintegrating before his very eyes and he wanted…no needed to do something about it.

"Did you ask Rory about the Twickam house?"

"I told her about the idea and she looked around the house that we live in now – the house that holds all of our memories. She's as lost as I am about it. I can't give you an answer now, Luke. My life is in that little house – that house shows everything that I've worked for since I left my parents' house all those years ago."

"I understand, but this is our future, Lorelai. I want more than anything for us to have a future together and start our lives. We've been through so much where we're living now – a new beginning, a new house."

Lorelai listened as Luke was pushing this on her, she really didn't know what to do. She tried to explain that she wasn't saying no, she just needed to think about it still. There was so much going on at once that it was overwhelming. Lorelai had done everything herself for so many years and she was given another challenge. It shouldn't be harder than having a baby at 16; decided to start her life over with the man she loved wouldn't necessarily mean losing all that she had. She wouldn't be leaving Stars Hollow, but it was still not the house where she and Rory had lived since Rory was a small child. Luke wasn't understanding that it was about more than just a house – more than a place to live. It was about leaving behind so much of her life to start over again. Lorelai didn't know if she was ready to start over and leave everything behind. She didn't want to think that she had to leave everything behind just to be with Luke and to be Mrs. Luke Danes.

"But what about the kids," Luke asked for the second time that week.

Finally Lorelai realized what he meant the first time. When they were arguing in the inn before her lunch with Rory that started the breakdown…Luke meant their kids; the kids that they would have when they started a family. He didn't want her traveling so that they could start a family.

"Our kids…" Lorelai said softly. The two just looked at each other, neither one knew what was going to come of their lives together. A wedding wasn't even discussed. Lorelai looked down at her finger and Luke smiled in his flannel shirt and blue baseball cap – the cap that Lorelai had bought him years before.

-:

Rory woke up on the couch in her living room with Logan by her side the next morning. It was the first time he'd been in the house and only the second time he'd ever been to Stars Hollow – the first time he was too drunk to know where he was anyway…not that Rory was in a much better state of mind. Rory watched as Logan's eyes wandered around the house that she grew up in. It was most likely nothing like Logan had ever seen before. Even his apartment at Yale was fancier than the modest home Lorelai had self sufficiently bought.

"Do you want me to show you around the house?" Rory interrupted Logan's thoughts.

He smiled and stood up taking Rory's hand. She told him the stories about when she broke up with Dean the first time and decided to move all the furniture in the living room and the spot where her Chilton formal dress "made a pass" at Lorelai. Rory told Logan the story about the first time her grandparents were there on her 16th birthday and the time a couple of years later when Lorelai the first visited. She took him to the kitchen and explained the dust on everything but the coffee pot was from lack of use. Every room had so much life in it and so many stories; Logan had to admit that he was jealous. He couldn't even figure out what to call half the rooms in his house.

After the tour of the house, Rory took Logan around Stars Hollow. Babette was outside in her garden, Taylor was dictating some kind of town renovation project, and Miss Patty was standing in the doorway to her studio. These were all familiar and that sense of belonging made Rory once again question everything about Yale and about what she felt at her grandparents'. Stars Hollow was where she belonged even without the opportunities – it would be a place to figure out what she wanted…but Lorelai wouldn't let her stay to think.

The next stop on the tour was for breakfast and coffee at Luke's. They went over and sat at the counter waiting for Luke to take care of all the customers. Rory noticed the same thing as Lorelai – the diner was very quiet without Kirk there. But for Rory and Logan the silence was even greater because Luke already took a strong dislike towards Logan. This was the boy that was in that room with Rory at Emily and Richard's wedding and the reason that Rory had spent time in jail.

"Hi, Rory," Luke said.

"Luke, you remember Logan."

"Yes, I believe we met at the wedding."

"I think we did, that wasn't my greatest moment," Logan said with a blush.

"No, you much prefer the time in jail."

"Luke!" Rory raised her voice.

Logan could tell that he wasn't going to be welcomed with open arms in Stars Hollow, but when it came to Rory he didn't care about acceptance. If he was willing to change everything in his life for her then the people who cared about her should learn to respect him. He knew that he was nothing like Dean and nothing like the life Rory had lived in years before – but he was the only one who saw that smile when he put his arms around her. Everyone else was just going to have to get used to it.

After Luke took their orders and gave them coffee, he walked away leaving Rory and Logan by themselves.

"He really doesn't like me…"

"Well think of the position we were in when he met you, and that led to everything breaking loose with my dad and Luke and my mom broke up. It was pretty bad and even though none of it was your fault…"

"I know Rory, but I want them to like me. I know how important they are to you and like I told you, I can't stop seeing you."

Rory smiled, she knew Logan was being sincere and hoped that people…especially Lorelai and Luke would warm up to him.

-:

Logan left that afternoon leaving Rory by herself until Lorelai got home from the Inn. She thought about what Lorelai said about leaving the house. She thought about all the good times in the house that she'd been telling Logan about earlier that morning and she thought about all of the bad details she left out. It wasn't hard for Rory to remember what happened in the bed she still sleeps in sometimes though the pink sheets are no longer in existence thanks to Lorelai. Rory's thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the door and Lorelai yelling that it was time for dinner.

Rory looked at her mother sternly and said that she wanted to talk before they headed over to the diner. Lorelai had no idea what it was about but she could tell that it was serious. To break the mood a little Lorelai said, "should we go to Weston's?"  
Rory faked a smile and led her mother to the couch. She looked her in the eye and told her that she didn't want her to sell the house. There were too many memories that would be left behind – there were too many things that happened that only could've happened between those walls.

"Rory, honey, I know what you mean, but maybe it's time to start over. You need somewhere to think and to figure out what you want with your life. Luke and I have been talking about expanding the family."

"Wow – another little sibling? I hope to be more in their life than I am in Gigi's."

"It's too soon for anything to really happen – but Luke bought the house."

"Mom, you know we're not going to be able to pack everything away."

The two looked around the house and both of them had tears forming in their eyes. They couldn't think about it any longer so they walked out of the house and headed over to Luke's for their dinner. The diner owner saw the tears in the girls' eyes when they walked in and immediately brought them coffee and took their orders waiting for the information to be volunteered.

As the girls were eating slowly, picking at their food, Luke knew that something was definitely wrong. It was not like Rory and Lorelai at all to not have a hearty appetite.

"Are you two okay?"

"Luke, can I talk to you in the store room for a minute?"

Luke took Lorelai's hand and led her away yelling to Caesar and Lane to take care of the diner. When they reached the store room Luke leaned in to kiss Lorelai, but she backed away.

"I can't move," She finally blurted out.

"What?"

"The house. Rory and I have spent so much time there…our lives are in that house. With Rory moved out her bedroom can be used – or maybe the garage since the band isn't using it, we can turn it into a bedroom. I just…"

"But the papers are signed – I've been getting along with Taylor. Lorelai, I did this for us – I did this because I don't want to make another mistake like with Nicole. I lost her and I'm not going to lose you."

"You're not going to lose me, just that house. The Twickam house is amazing and I know about Kirk's competitive bid – how did you get it anyway?"

"You don't want to know."

"Luke…"

"I went to the town elders…in a sauna."

Lorelai let out a giggle, "you went in a sauna just to get this house…it means a lot to you doesn't it?"

"Yes."


End file.
